Ralph came home after a long night at the bar, barely managing to get into bed without waking his wife. As soon as his head hit the pillow, he was out cold.
But Ralph’s peaceful slumber didn’t last long. Suddenly, he found himself standing before the Pearly Gates, where none other than St. Peter greeted him.
“Ralph,” said St. Peter solemnly, “you passed away in your sleep.”
“What?! No way!” Ralph exclaimed. “I can’t be dead! I’ve got too much to do. Send me back! I’m not ready for this!”
St. Peter scratched his beard and said, “Well, Ralph, there is one way I can send you back, but it’s not as a man. The only option available is for you to return… as a chicken.”
Ralph hesitated but eventually agreed, thinking, How bad could it be?
In the blink of an eye, Ralph was transported to a farm. When he came to, he realized he was covered in feathers, pecking at corn on the ground. Just as he was processing this bizarre situation, a confident-looking rooster strutted over.
“Hey there, newbie,” said the rooster, smirking. “First day, huh? How’s it feel to be part of the flock?”
Ralph shrugged his feathery wings. “Not bad, I guess, but something weird is happening. I feel this… this intense pressure, like I’m going to explode!”
The rooster burst out laughing. “Buddy, you’re ovulating. That’s just your body telling you it’s time to lay an egg.”
Ralph’s beak dropped open. “Lay an egg?! You’ve gotta be kidding me! How do I even do that?”
“It’s easy,” said the rooster. “Just cluck twice and push. You’ll figure it out.”
With some trepidation, Ralph clucked twice and gave a big push. To his shock—and bizarre satisfaction—out popped an egg.
Ralph stared at it in awe. “I just laid an egg! This is incredible!”
He clucked twice and pushed again. Out came another egg. Ralph was on a roll, overwhelmed with joy. He felt like a proud parent, experiencing the miracle of life.
As Ralph geared up for his third egg, he felt a sudden smack on the back of his head and heard his wife’s angry voice:
“Ralph! Wake up, you idiot! You’re crapping the bed!”
Moral of the story? Even in your wildest dreams, reality has a way of hitting you where it hurts! 😄